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REVENGE IS SWEET !!!
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The Funny Ones!
1. Get 'Change of Address' cards from the post office and change his/her address so that all his/her mail gets forwarded to somewhere in Guatemala!
2. Squirt glue into all his locks - on all the locks to his house, the lock on his car, etc.
3. This is a great one!
Make SNAP POWDER to put all over the victim's driveway! This is easily done with a little know-how:
Mix iodine crystals and ammonium hydroxide together to form a brown sludge. Allow this to dry and sprinkle onto the driveway!
The result? When the victim steps out of his house and onto the driveway, he will think he's stepping on firecrackers, as the carpet of snap powder "snaps" & "crackles" under his feet!!!
4. This is another great one if you can pull it off!
Put some Neutral Red into his drink. (Neutral Red is a water soluble crystalline red dye. The thing about it, is that it stays red, which makes for quite a surprise the next time you go to the bathroom!!!) The victim will be extremely worried to find that his urine is RED, and will consequently think that he's pissing blood!
5. Announce that the victim is to donate his/her car and all his/her valuables to various charities. Arrange for all these charities to collect the items at the same time. This way, the victim has to deal with scores of charities demanding his furniture, etc. all at the same time, while wondering what the hell is going on!
6. If his car is parked, turn it around so that it's sideways. Watch with glee as the victim returns, and wonders:
a) how it got this way in the first place &
b) how the hell he's going to get it out again!
(You may need a few people to lift the car for this one!)
7. Order pizza from over 20 different pizza delivery companies. Next, Order several male strippers dressed in police uniforms. Finally, invite loads of hoodloms to crash the place, and call the cops saying that he's disturbing the peace.
With any luck, with all the comotion that follows, the victim will mistake the real cop for one of the strippers, and punch him right in the face!!!
8. Send a box of cookies to the victim, saying that they're from the local bakery/supermarket/whatever and that they are giving him a complimentary sample. What he doesn't know, is that you've filled them full of laxatives!
9. Advertise the victim's job in the newspaper! Maybe the hundreds of phone-calls about his job will get his boss thinking...
10. Leave porno books/magazines around the local area, with a sticker on them, saying:
"Property of (victim's name). If found, please return to (victim's address)".
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The Slightly Evil Ones!
1. Call the victim at work and pretend to be from the hospital. Tell him that his wife and child have been in a serious accident, and that they need him to come down straight away to identify the bodies.
2. Announce in a biker bar, in a v. bad area of town, that there is a party in his house and that there is free beer. When they turn up, they'll want to get in and party! On finding NO free beer, they'll either beat him up, trash his house, or set up their own party in his garden! Or all three!!!
3. Get a dead animal from the side of the road and put a dog collar on it. THEN, tie it to his car bumper with some rope, and place it underneath the car, so that the victim cannot see it while the car is parked. It will drag behind him when he's driving, causing people to believe he's purposely being cruel to an animal. And if the cops see this, they'll pull him over...
;)
4. Diesel fuel and saltwater have wonderful properties for someone hell-bent on revenge. When they are put on grass, the grass will die, and will not grow back for a long, long time.
Use this knowledge to 'write' something on the victim's front lawn. Be as creative or cruel as you want, eg. "WHORE" , "CHILD MOLESTER"...!
5. Cut the victim's electricity, water and phone lines.
6. Call his place of work, and inform his boss that he is making illegal phone calls from work. This works best if you impersonate a federal official.
7. Put a manequin in his driveway, and make it look like a dead body by putting fake blood on it, and a knife beside it. If the victim sees it first, he'll get a huge scare. If someone else sees it first, they'll no doubt call the cops who'll have a lot of difficult questions for him!
8. Put sugar in his petrol guage.
9. Put nails or broken glass just beside the tyres of his car.
10. Plant a toy gun or something that looks like 'drugs' in his car. Report it to the police!
11. If possible, put an anti-shoplifting strip in his pocket. Or better still, if you have access to his coat, sew the strip into the lining of his coat! He'll be stopped every time he leaves a shop, and he won't know why!!!
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Ah yes, revenge is indeed sweet!
Disclaimer: The owner of this website claims no responsibility for any mayhem, injuries, court cases, or indeed, satisfaction incurred in the carrying out of the above schemes.
;)
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